Lupron Sucks!!!!

I hate lupron!!!! I've had a bad headache and have been cranky all day. Plus my back is killing me, that isn't related to the lupron, but still sucks to be getting old! The delestrogen shot didn't hurt when dh did it this morning, but by mid-afternoon my leg was really hurting. I'm so not looking forward to getting them every Tues and Frid. I'm really not looking forward to the horrible PIO shots. Of course if I get preggy and have another lil one that's as wonderful as Lydia then it will all be worth it. I don't really expect this to work, but I sooooo want it to, please God, let it work!!!

All Better

Glad to report that Lydia woke up this morning with no fever!!! I hate when my lil one is sick!!! We ordered our new frig last night and it will be getting it next Sat. Can't wait, I hate the one we have now! I start delestrogen shots tomorrow. I always gave myself the shots in my 2 previous cycles, but since dh will be home tomorrow, I'm going to have him do it. I haven't had the really horrible headaches so far either, just minor ones. I can't remember when in the cycle the headaches usually come, but I'm hoping maybe I won't get them. In all of my previous cycles, I felt comsumed by the cycle 24/7. So far except for having to do the lupron shot each morning, I don't even think about the cycle. Guess that's because I'm too busy caring for my wonderful dd this time around.

Lydia's got an owie

Last night Lydia had a slight fever so I gave her some motrin. She was quickly running around and playing like normal. Then she woke up crying this morning with the fever back. This is only the second time in her life that she's ever been sick. Looks like it's just a cold, hopefully it won't last too long. I hate when she doesn't feel well. I'm so thankful that she's healthy. I can't imagine the heart ache parents go through when they have a child with a life threatening illness.

Who needs money?!

My dh isn't thrilled about having to spend more money on IVF treatments. Last month his car had some engine problems which cost over $1000 and now our refrigerator is going out, so that's another $1000 to buy a new one!!! UUGH!!!! And if that's not bad enough, it looks like some bees have decided to make their hive in the back of our house. As in building their hive in between the siding of our house and the exterior wall!!! Yikes!! We also have a hornets nest the size of a football in a tree right by our back deck. I told dh that if I see any critters in the house I'm calling an exterminator!!!! He says they'll die in the winter, but I'm not so sure I want to wait that long. No more going outside to play in the backyard for Lydia!!! I'm glad we had already put down the deposit for the FET before the car troubles, refrigerator, or bees otherwise we wouldn't be doing the FET now. Now I'm worried that the FET will be a BFN. If we don't thaw all of the embies this time then I want to try again asap!!! I'm afraid my dh will either want to postpone it for a long time or won't want to do it at all. I just can't let our snowbabies remain frozen forever. My hope is that I'll get preggy and if we have any embies left then we can donate them to another couple. Just have to tell myself whatever happens is the way God wants it to be, even if it's not what I want.

Too many BFNs

There is a support message board that I have been a member of for nearly 4 yrs now. This past month has seen too many BFNs from ladies who have one child from a fresh cycle and were doing a FET in order to get a sibling. I am not only sad for them but also for myself. This just makes me more sure that my cycle will end in a BFN. I've also noticed that the few ladies who have gotten BFPs are ones who already have twins. I guess it makes sense, the twin moms obviliously had better quality embies to start with since they got twins. Guess it just makes sense that their frozens would be better quality also. While I'm so thankful that I was able to get preggy with Lydia, it still makes me sad that the other embie that we transferred with her didn't make it. If none of these next embies make it, that will be 15 embies that we created that didn't make it. I worry if they are in Heaven or not. I pray they are. It makes me so jealous that those with twins are able to get preggy again, while so many of the ladies with just one child are getting BFNs. I'm sorry, I know this sounds very selfish, especially for those who are still struggling to have a child. I'm not sad for myself, but for my dd. I worry so much about her not having a sib. I worry that she's going to feel like something is wrong with her because we had to use DE to have her, guess I feel that if she had a sibling the DE thing wouldn't be such a concern. Maybe it would be, who knows? I think Lupron is making me much more emotional, I've done 3 shots and have had a bad headache for two days now. Plus my back is killing me. We went to the zoo yesterday and all the walking around has done my back in, I feel so old sometimes, it sucks!!!!

Here we go again!!!

Last week I had a special u/s done to make sure everything is OK with my uterus. I have stage 4 endo and have a history of polyps, cysts, and fibroids. I was a little worried that there might be a problem with my uterus and my cycle would have to be postponed. Thankfully everything was fine and my cycle is full speed ahead!!! I did my first lupron shot this morning. I am so not looking forward to all the bad side effects that go along with the different meds, but I want another baby so badly. I'm preparing myself for this cycle to not work, but I sure hope I'm wrong and it does. Lydia needs a little sister or brother. We don't have any family where we live and don't have any friends with young children. I don't want her to feel all alone when dh and I are gone. On happier news, we have a mama cardinal who built it's nest in the tree right outside of Lydia's bedroom. We noticed eggs in the nest the other day. Whenever we go in Lydia's room she runs to the window to see the birdy. This afternoon when it was her naptime, I told her to tell the birdy, good night. She kissed the window, put her head on the window(this is how she gives something a hug) and then said night, night birdy! Too Cute!!!!!