Cycle #6

I can't believe we're going to do another cycle. I talked to my clinic yesterday, once AF shows I will start bcps. Transfer will probably be sometime in early Nov. We don't have dh's work schedule yet, so I hope we can arrange everything to work out to do it then. I DON'T want to delay it. I have zero hope left for a sibling. I just want to get this over with. We with thaw all 4 embies and if any survive the thaw we will let them grow to day 5 and if any make it we will transfer whatever we have. I doubt any will survive the thaw, these are worse quality than the ones we just used. I know bad embies can make healthy babies, but so far it hasn't worked out that way for us, and we've had plenty of bad embies. I woke up this morning feeling so mad that we have to go through this all again. Why can't we just get preggy and have a healthy baby!! I feel so jealous of all the women who get preggy with twins or are able to have several successful cycles. There are 2 women on one board I read who already have twins and are now preggy again. Another women has 4 de kids. Why are they able to have several successful cycles and I can't. They don't have to worry about their kids growing up alone or not having anyone once they die. Why can't I give Lydia a sib. She deserves to have a lil sister or brother. I know how lucky I am to have Lydia, but I can't help feeling mad that I can't have another baby. I just hope once we are finally all done with treatments I can get past these feelings. I feel like AF is going to show any minute now, so that doesn't help with my emotions. Plus I just know my mom is going to call to say my cousin's daughter is preggy again. She had her dd a couple of months after Lydia was born, so I'm sure she'll probably end up preggy here again. IF sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!